When you’re so good at making excuses, it can be hard to leave room to be good at anything else… including golf.
With that in mind, here are some of the best/worst excuses you could ever hope to hear on a golf course.
My shoes are too tight
Okay… while it’s true that the right footwear is hugely important in golf, even if you’re wearing perfect fitting top-of-the-range Oxford Saddles… if you’re a hacker, there’s no escaping it. Likewise, a good golfer could play in high heels and still shoot a decent round. Okay, maybe not high heels.
Put the time in on the practice range first, then worry about your shoes. And if your shoes don’t fit or don’t grip the way they should, change them before you play your next round, instead of using them to excuse the inexcusable.
It’s the ball, not me
The old “it’s the ball, not me” line should never be uttered on the golf course. If you’re fanning and flubbing all day long, changing your balls isn’t going to help.
In the early days of the game, golf balls were basically a leather sack filled with boiled goose feathers. So count yourself lucky that you’re playing with something that’s round and actually bounces.
Seriously though, while some balls can definitely add some distance – our ‘Never Lay Up Again’ tour distance golf balls, for instance 😉 – if you can’t hit a ball in a straight line, it’s time to stop blaming the ball and take a look at your technique.
I’m letting you win this one
Oh, how generous of you! All this time, I thought that shot you sliced into the trees was down to your poor technique and all-round lack of ability. When it was all about your incredibly generous nature. What a great guy!
Yeah right. Listen… unless you’re under the age of 10, this excuse just doesn’t cut it. And, much like the infamous Uroclub, it’s taking the piss and no one’s buying it.
I’ve had an argument with the wife
Unless she bent your clubs in half after said argument, blaming your poor performance on your wife is not a good look.
It’s true that it’s hard to keep everyday stress from affecting your game, but mental strength is as much part of the game as your backswing. So, put the time in and learn some techniques that enable you to get in the right headspace when you step onto the first tee.
I don’t play well in this weather
At some point, all golfers will play in adverse weather, from blazing heat and the freezing cold to pouring rain or fierce wind. Adapting your game is a challenge that all golfers should try to meet. As the old Scandinavian saying goes… “There’s no such thing as bad weather; only inappropriate clothing.”
After all, playing golf in the rain isn’t all bad. If you have a terrible round, at least no one can see the tears!
Seriously though, if you need constant sunshine and clear skies to play golf, you’d better book a trip to Spain. For the rest of us, embracing the game whatever the weather is all part of the joy of golf.
My toe injury is playing up again
Ah, the old toe injury has come back to derail your game again, huh? Complaining about trivial, preventable injuries is one of the most common excuses and probably one of the most annoying for those who have to hear it time and time again.
Some golfing injuries are definitely serious and can have a big impact on your game. Thankfully, nowadays we know more and more about how the body works and there’s so much you can do – from simple everyday stretches to intense yoga sessions – that can help your body heal effectively.
I need new clubs
You know those guys who never play a bad shot, but when they do it’s all down to their clubs? As soon as they shell out for a premium set of TaylorMade clubs, Dustin Johnson and Rory McIlroy better watch out!
A good carpenter never blames their tools. They learn from mistakes, study the best in their field and make sure that they always turn up with a toolkit that gets the job done right.
This course doesn’t suit my game
Have you ever played with that guy who claims he’d hit a killer round if he could just find the right type of golf course that suited his style?
British journalist Frank Butler once said “A golf course is nothing more than a pool room moved outdoors.” Hmmm… with a few more trees maybe. Okay, while he’s exaggerating there, the point is not to overcomplicate the game.
Tee, fairway, rough, sand, water, flag, hole… every course has the basics, and within that many add a fair amount of complexity with challenging designs. As a golfer, you have to adapt your game to deal with this complexity. It’s part of the fun.
I’ve lost my lucky glove
Okay, so golf clubs give you grip and feel, while preventing blisters and calluses. They do not, however, magically alter the course of reality.
So, if the glove you’re wearing isn’t the lucky one that helped you shoot a personal best round four years ago, it’s time to move on.
That bird chirping in the trees put me off
As much as we’d like the world to stop spinning each and every time we approach the ball, it’s just not going to happen.
Okay, so it’s fair enough to expect your golf buddies to keep it down while you’re taking your shot. But the moment you start getting angry at birds singing while you’re swinging is the moment you know that you’ve got to get serious about improving your concentration on the course.
Then you’ll be singing with them, as your ball flies down the fairway.
